Code Secrets

From BarCampWiki

Code Secrets Shared at BarCamp Boston 3

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"I write Standards"
"I kept programming in BASIC until I was 40 years old"
"I write code in .net, and sometimes I use P/invoke"
"i never check for a robots.txt"
"Python's xml.sax api fetches xml identifiers during parsing"
"Sometimes I forget to be semantically correct"
"'Do you want me to show you?' really means ' Your too dumb to get this thru email'"
"I wrote a library that became a standard at my employer (100's of programmers) where the subroutine calls were actually macros that translated a mini-language. Nobody, including me could understand the macros."
"When a design s really bad, I sneak insulting comments into the html"
"I don't write tests. Isn't running it locally enough?"
"I want to program every site I do with an option for .../?whatitshouldlooklike=1"
"I I like working from home. Allows me to watch TV during meetings..."
"I can't balance my parentheses without Emacs anymore"
"I know CSS as well as (almost) anyone, but I still use tables for layout. float:right Dammit!"
"I wish I could tell you we don't live in 1998. The web has changed"
"!--I wonder if anyone has ever read the comments in my resume.html--"
"I think XML is pretty great"
"I connect t y neighbors wireless and look at their Personal Files."
"I HATE WORKING WITH CLIENTS! (and I'm a project manager)"
"You're on my team but your code sucks. I know. I review every commit."
"Your demos fail because your code SUCKS"
"I've only used one password for the last 10 years."
"I program in Haskell"
"I login as root all the time."
"I reimplement everything myself because I can't read other people's code."